Life Experience

When being so young it is easy to forget how lucky you are to have a life. For me, I have two wonderful parents, a mother and step-father, who are always there for me. I am lucky enough to be able to go to college and fulfill my dream because my parents worked hard to have the money to put me through college. Living everyday life, normally people don’t think about all the good they have in their lives but only focus on the bad. Why is that? Guess we’ll never know.

Until recently I didn’t realize how precious life was, I mean really appreciate having my life. About a month ago a young boy who attended my high school hung himself from years of bullying. When this happened, it was like everyone in the town was silent. Nothing had ever happened like this before and now that something major had happened to our perfect little town, it seemed to open everyone’s eyes. The young boy wasn’t much different than I am. He did believe in a religion that gets a lot of criticism but in the end we all put our pants on the same way. What I can’t wrap my head around is life being so bad that I would want to end it. I understand bullying happens everywhere and sometimes as early as primary school. Kids will be kids but in my life I always had my parents to back me up and motivate me to get back up on my feet. From what I’ve heard, this child did not have parents that acted this way. They regularly ignored him and didn’t pay attention to the fact that the bullying was as bad as it was.

This event really opened my eyes. I may have very bad days and think my life is a living hell but I actually have a life that others would envy. I wake up not scared to go outside and drive to school without the military stopping me and robbing me like in other countries. I got an education and was lucky enough to go to college unlike some countries where children don’t receive an education at all. These are just a few things I’ve noticed that I should be thankful for. Living in America, and never having to deal with these road blocks, Americans have no idea what is going on in the world around them. I am one of those people. I pray for my family and friends every night but I don’t regularly pray for those children who are sleeping in tents with tatted clothes and an empty stomach.

Living this life is something to be so grateful for. Realizing how good we have it has made me change my life and how I live it from day to day. Just like the young boy who took his life, I live for him and all of those children in other countries. It takes a mature adult to realize these great characteristics of life and these instances have molded me into the person I am today. No, every day can’t be perfect and every day I don’t feel appreciative but realizing it is a start.

 

My Mother and Me - Winter 2012

The Effects of Shift Work

I am writing my paper over the effects of shift work on the human body. Some aspects I’m specifically focusing on are the melatonin levels in the brain and how they change with shift work experience. Another is the development of cancer in people who have worked shift work for a long time and if working shift work heightens their chances of getting cancer. The reason I am writing about this topic is because I plan on working in the medical field and I unfortunately will have to work shift work schedules for the majority of my career. I know it will take years for my body to get used to the varying work schedule and reading about the effects of shift work on our bodies helps me take precautions when I am working in the future. Not only am I studying this topic for personal experience, but it is a topic that has little recognition. Many doctors work up to eighty hours a week and suffer time away from their family, sleep and even regular eating schedules. Not only can shift work effect your mood, but it also effects your mood because your family has to live around your schedule.

Specific ways I intend to use for appeals to my readers are logos, pathos, ethos and kairos. When using logos I will argue that shift workers don’t get enough appreciation from employees and that mistakes can be made at work because the workers are exhausted. Pathos is persuading with emotion and I plan to use an example of a mother with a young child who isn’t there when her son is awake during the day because she has to sleep for her night shift but sometimes she stays awake to visit with him but the repercussions of her being tired at work could be harmful to the patient. Persuading the reader through moral authority or credibility is known as pathos and how I plan to lead this part of my paper is appealing to the person’s life when they work shift work. Basically put yourself in that person’s shoes and imagine if you’d like working in that environment. The last appeal to the reader is kairos which is arguing at the right moment or to stress the timelines of an issue. One famous example I will use is a nurse giving a patient important medications and administering the wrong dosage to the patient because she’s so tired to think straight. Here I will argue that changing a normal shift work schedule from two twelve hour shifts to three eight hour shifts would keep this from happening. Something dangerous could happen with workers in a chemical plant mixing highly explosive chemicals and if someone is too sleepy to pay attention then the Baytown area could be blown up.

I plan to incorporate how people are missing out on the beautiful night sky because they are working and are fed light through electronic lights such as computers or light bulbs. The types of research articles I have found are more study based articles where clinical studies were performed over a period of time on shift workers. The research is definitely giving me good examples and points to think of when I will be working shift work. All the articles I have found are based in very different working environments with the workers having only one thing in common which is working shift work. These articles portray people of all age ranges as well as what countries they live in. I’m trying to find the most diverse articles to compare to each other to prove that shift work is detrimental to a person’s health.

A Different Atmosphere

Being someone who has lived in Texas their whole life unfortunately the night sky was a constant picture. Here we experience very foggy, cloudy nights and it sometimes looks like there are only 9 stars in the sky. Unless someone from this area has traveled to more rural areas where there isn't as much light pollution or people, then they wouldn't be able to experience what the night sky really looks like.

The quote I chose for my response was Ian Cheney stating that he felt like he “was at the center of the world” but that he had “left something important behind, something [he] couldn't name.” (City Dark). I can’t imagine living in Maine for the first quarter of my life and experiencing breath-taking views every night. Why would anyone want to move to a big city after living in the most beautiful place? Cheney explains in the film that seeing a night sky in Maine was like seeing thousands of stars in one picture. The stars were uncountable. It’s hard to imagine a sky that big, bright, and full of beautiful stars when every night we see only a percentage of what Maine residents see.

Tonight I counted 43 stars in our Texas sky which is much smaller of a number compared to the thousands of stars that are in our universe. Cheney also wonders, “What do we lose when we lose the night?” (City Dark). I believe many people go through life and never sit down at night to look at the night sky. I myself rarely appreciate the night sky because I’m too caught up in other things going on. But tonight I’m glad I took the time to enjoy the beautiful sky. Asking the question of what do we lose when we lose the night sky is a serious question to think about. Not only would it affect humans but what would it do to the animals who travel being guided by the night sky? I think a lot of humans take advantage of our beautiful planet and don’t take in all the beauty it provides for us.

These two quotes were important to me because they catch you off guard. What could Cheney really lose when he moved to New York? The night sky isn't something like a companion but when you get so accustomed to seeing something every night then it becomes a part of you and your life. The night sky in Maine became a part of Cheney's life and when he left then he could see how a part of him was gone. I don't think he realized how such a small, innate aspect of life was such a large part of him until he left. Another situation people living in Texas could relate to is the distance from the ocean. Even though I don’t live five minutes away from the beach, having somewhat easy access to the ocean is a great amenity. Water is so relaxing and calming to me. Anytime the world is taking at me too much, just going by water and enjoying listening to the waves relaxes me completely. Everyone has their own method that works for them and Ian Cheney could’ve looked at the night sky the way I look at the ocean. One question many of us need to ask ourselves is, when was the last time you enjoyed the beauty of our planet? Obviously Ian Cheney is trying to get his message out that our night sky is diminishing literally and diminishing as a figure to the people who live on Earth.

Our World Without Light

Four years ago I visited the beautiful island of Hawaii. Yes the beaches were breath taking but one experience was significantly better. While staying on the Big Island, one evening we traveled on a long road all the way up a mountain. After a couple of hours of non-stop driving in circles we reached the top of this mountain which was actually a volcano. At that time it was around 6 o’clock in the evening and the sun was just setting. It was absolutely perfect. Not only could you see the whole island but it seemed as if you could jump higher than the clouds.

As soon as it was dark, we ventured our way to the site seeing area where the stars looked feet from you. Instead of being on sea level and feeling like a little, puny ant, we felt so big and giant. It was the most breath taking image I had ever seen. Living in Texas does have positives because of our clear skies, but Texas doesn’t have anything on Hawaii.

The weather was perfect, not a cloud in the sky. You could see for what seemed like miles. I had never experienced the moon looking so huge. It made me feel like I wasn’t even on the planet anymore. Being able to be on such an elevated surface with the weather perfect is magical. Our planet is such a beautiful place.

As talked about in class, at the top of the mountain it had mandated rules for low light pollution so tourists could experience the real deal. That was quite scary being on a mountain thousands of feet higher than civilization and having to watch every step you take because of the fear of falling off the mountain. Even though that terrified me, the view was so worth it. Not having all of the lights on in a city or being so high up on a mountain makes you feel like you’re experiencing a new world.

A similar event made me feel the exact same way. About 3 months ago it rained non-stop for about 3 days and where I live when it rains we normally lose power. Usually it’s only for an hour but this time we lost power around 5 o’clock with the power not turning back on until 5 o’clock the next morning. At first it wasn’t that dark and didn’t seem like an unusual occurrence. Now let me explain, where I live we don’t have any street lights or many homes so at night it is very dark, so our neighborhood was pitch black because everyone was out of power. It wasn’t scary but made me think back to that night when we were on the mountain in Hawaii. This was the first time I had seen where I lived completely light free. 

Normally everyone’s homes are lit up, but this night there was nothing. It was breath taking. Even though I was in my home on a very rainy night, it was a wonderful experience. The thought of people living 200 years ago without power and experiencing that every night was thrilling. It made me thankful for electricity but also thankful that it can go out sometimes. Just like when a hurricane hits our area, people learn how to work together to keep everyone afloat.

I think it would be good for the power to go out more often. Maybe not during the blistering summers we have here in Texas but on a cold, rainy night in December it was quite peaceful. The only noise I could hear as I was falling asleep were the soft sounds of the rain. It made me recognize all the magical things we have around us on this earth that we don’t notice.

Romantic Relationships

“Valentine” by Carol Ann Duffy vs. “Onions” by William Matthews

Titles are everything. The first thing that comes to mind as you see "Valentine" is love, romanticism, or a loving relationship. On the other hand when you hear "Onions" the thoughts won’t be as charming, but rather smelly and eye watering. These two poems have very powerful names but if the poem names were swapped they would fit the content of each poem better. The interesting title starts the imagination going but as you start to read the content the tables turn.

In the beginning of “Valentine,” the poet explains how they give their loved one an onion instead of “a red rose or a satin heart.” The poet then identifies all the qualities an onion has. When comparing a relationship to an onion it could go two ways; one way the relationship gets better as time goes on and the layers come back, or the relationship could start exposing more truths as the layers peal back. After reading this poem, I would guess the poet’s relationship has seen years of hard times and sadness and in the end it doesn’t have enough positives to save the relationship. The hints of destruction are most in the last stanza when the poet states, “Lethal. Its scent will cling to your fingers, cling to your knife.” If the poet would have mentioned just the scent of the onion without using the word Lethal before, the meaning wouldn’t have been as strong. But the poet’s word choice by involving a one-word sentence, Lethal, proved the destruction, pain, or exposure of an unhealthy relationship.

The poem “Onions” is quite different. It starts with the poet explaining how onions bring happiness to their relationship. They begin by cooking a wonderful dinner. Preparing everything and including diced onions. This poem as well identifies the characteristics of an onion, how it can bring tears but such happiness to someone who loves to cook with them. This relationship is much different from the previous poem. This relationship has grown as the layers pull back, the core of the relationship is exposed and as reading this poem you can feel the poet's love being expressed. The poet expands on the thought of the lingering smell of onions everywhere you touch. Instead of the smell of the lingering  onions being a disgrace, this smell lingers but brings happiness. Somewhat like smelling your spouse’s perfume or cologne and it bringing you happiness to smell that familiar scent. The poet identifies this smell but appreciates it and views it pleasantly. Lastly, the poem ends in a better note then the last. The couple eats dinner, washes the dishes, and then they go together to bed.

When comparing these two poems there are many similarities but differences that make them stand out from each other. Without a doubt the couple in “Valentine” had a destructive relationship but that the relationship was much older than the one in “Onions.” Maybe the couple had went through many years of rough patches and it was getting too tiring to keep trying at something they had both given up on. And the fresh relationship hasn’t experienced as much so they didn’t have as many battle scares to make them rethink their relationship. The reason I picked these two poems to compare is how two relationships can have one item bring such happiness and one bring such sadness. As well, both poems use the onion as an analogy toward their relationship. Yet, one relationship grew as the layers were pulled apart, and the other relationship tarnished with each peal.

Parent-Child Relationships

"Slow Children At Play" by Cecilia Woloch

vs.

"What I Do" by Douglas Goetsch

These two poems are unique because they address parent and child relationships. These poems are about the same topic but they are addressed in such a different way. Not only are parent and child relationships addressed in these two poems but they’re both similar because they display different child behaviors.

In the first poem, “Slow Children At Play” the narrator, as I assumed, was a mother. She tells the reader about these children who are moving so fast. All the words the poet uses in the first half of the poem are fast, quick or easily pronounced. She says they are hurrying up to wash their hands and get ready to eat dinner before their father gets home.

Then she shifts the mood to slower and uses longer words. She announces the slow children playing with fireflies and making “ohhhs and ahhhs” sounds. These children as well have slow mothers. The most remarkable sentences in this poem is when the poet asks the questions: Where is their dinner? Where has their father gone?

Those last two lines connected these poems for me. Everyone can look at the last two sentences and get a different image in their head. The image I immediately thought of was: do these children have fathers? If they do have fathers why would they leave them? She says the fast children have fathers who they are waiting for at dinner but the slow children are never associated with having a father. Consequently, I think the father has left them with nothing, and especially left them without food.

In the second poem, “What I Do” a man who isn’t too old but definitely not in his 20s, tells how he resembles his father as he has aged in life. He tells how he never looked at his father as a good person or understood why he made the decisions he did but now that he is in the same shoes or the same age as his father was he finally understands his decision making.

He starts off the poem with an explanation of how he pays his bills exactly like his father did. He tells about a flashback from his childhood when he would repeatedly bring his father coffee as he spent hours slaving at his desk. Not only did he bring him coffee, he cleaned his ashtrays, shined his shoes, anything to get his father’s attention. Even though he made multiple attempts to get his father’s attention but in the end he saw it was never enough in his father’s eyes.

The most remarkable sentence in this poem is when he talks directly about their relationship. He says, “… now that I’m approaching the age he was when we stopped talking.” That is the only direct quote he gives the reader of the status of him and his father’s relationship now. Maybe he understands his father’s decision making because he is in the same position in life. But the questions this poem rises for me is, what did his father do to hurt their relationship so bad?

These two poems are related because it portrays children’s actions and the variety of child environments at home. In the first poem the fast children seemed to have a good life because they had a father and had food on the table. Unfortunately, the slow children had no food on the table and a missing father. In the second poem, the narrator had a father but their relationship was not on good terms. It shows a child thriving for his father’s attention and constant disappointment. Even though there is no definite answer from either of the poems, the hints and small remarks in both poems can have an imagination going wild.

"Waiting For My Clothes" by Leanne O'Sullivan

This poem generated the greatest sense of curiosity for me compared to the other poems we read. Not only is the poem mysterious but it makes you wonder what the poet is trying to get the reader to believe. The title alone is very strange and gets your mind working on why this poem would be named this. The poem tells how a woman is waiting for her clothes to be returned to her while being watched by doctors. These doctors have taken her clothes and her journal – the two things that expose all of her secrets. She feels that if these doctors read her journal then they will know her in every way, “I think of those doctors knowing me naked ... taking my soul from between my ribs” (O’Sullivan 17).

I have many questions about this poem and most of them summarize to ask the question: is this woman insane? After reading the poem over and over again, I concluded that she is in a mental hospital. But why is she in this hospital; what has she done? She claims in the poem, “They hear my voice as they read and think. Who is this girl that is speaking?” (O’Sullivan 18). I get that the doctors are trying to figure out who she really is and if she might have actually committed a crime. Or maybe they’re getting details on her personality to investigate the case for why she’s in the mental hospital. But what if she isn’t insane at all? Maybe she’s a normal human being that lost her husband and was very depressed so they put her in this crazy place. There are so many circumstances for why she could be in this mental hospital, and that keeps me wondering.

The problem is the poet does not answer any of my questions. They are all conclusions from reading the poem. She ends the poem with “Like dreams, my clothes come out of their boxes” (O’Sullivan 18).  That quote alone leaves the door open for a curious mind. She leaves the questions unanswered so the reader can read the poem over and over and still ask so many questions. She wants to leave the reader curious and looking for that right answer. Only the best poems, books, or movies end that way because curiosity leads the mind to another level.

I also think the poet left out so much information because she doesn’t want the reader to know if this was a real life experience or a creative mind. Again, if she explained every aspect of the poem in detail it wouldn’t be as interesting or entertaining and most likely the reader wouldn’t want to reread the poem. This does frustrate me somewhat because I want to know the true answers about what she is talking about. It is such a strange topic to write a poem about but she portrays it into a real life situation and makes the reader feel like he or she is in her shoes waiting on her clothes. This poem speaks volumes.

And you think your life is bad..

Everyone looks back on their childhood and wishes something would’ve been better. Maybe it was a wish for something materialistic or simply more friends. A lot of people go through life thinking they have it so bad, but what if you were deliberately lied to from your parents? The guardians who are supposed to be role models for you, who are to support and protect you, who are supposed to love you. How would that make you feel? How would that create a better wish for your childhood?

In Stitches: A Memoir, the main character David Small is used as a Guiney Pig for radiation treatment which results in him developing cancer. When first getting the book, you don’t expect the emotions to be so loud strictly from graphics. This book speaks volumes and depicts a story of a young boy whose childhood is ripped to pieces from bad parenting and pure neglect.

In the beginning of the novel, David is told by his mother to not play with the wheelchairs or go onto the elevators. And what does he do? Just that. He races down the hallway with his socks on and stumbles upon this little man in a jar. Little does David know he’s looking at an unborn fetus. His brilliant imagination portrays the little man jumping out of the jar and starts chasing him down the hallway. The irony I recognized from this scene was that I see David as the little man in the jar trying to escape from his life. After he gets back to the elevator and back down to his parents he is wacked in the head from his mother because he lost his shoes. She gripes at him saying they don’t have the money for new shoes, but keep in mind his Dad’s a doctor. What doctor doesn’t have money?

Even that little slap on the head leads the path for all of the destruction his parents do to him. The most heart wrenching scene of the book was when David finds the letter his mother wrote to her mother about him having cancer. The way David Small portrays this is so realistic. He shows the letter far away and then picture by picture he gets closer to David’s eyes and starts repeating key words of the letter, especially the boy. Those two pages made my mouth drop. From then on I knew I could not put the book down. I don’t have any children but how could a parent first, not tell their child the truth about his mysterious lump in his neck, and secondly refer to him as the boy. Maybe she just doesn’t know her son’s name or maybe she really is insane?

David from that point on wakes up and stands up to his parents; well he tries. He has looked up to his parents his whole life even after being physically abused and verbally abused but this letter hits home for him. This book shows such hurt and emotion and it makes you wonder how some people live with themselves, especially David’s parents. This book commanded my attention from the first page. It showed such real life experiences that no one should face at such a young age.

Most importantly, this book shows someone who battled his whole life, and then overcame without his parents help. David ends up becoming a famous artist, and now a famous graphic novelist, without help from anyone in his family. I think that alone is enough to make the pain go away, or some of the pain. This book should be landmarked as one of the best graphic novels, if it hasn’t been yet, and I believe it’s a story that everyone should read. After reading this novel, I am thankful for my parents and how wonderful they were to me because it could’ve been so much worse.

I have to get a job? Great..

Wow, I was sixteen years old. I had my own vehicle and a driver’s license. That was the most incredible, free feeling I had known, but the repercussion of that was it was time to find a job. Luckily, I landed a job with my Mom, but still, I couldn't go home and take naps after school or go eat with my girlfriends. I had to go to work.

I make it sound a lot worse than it actually was. I had money, more than I usually had in my pocket, but the constant reminder of my car insurance note killed my motive to go get those new shoes. At first it was hard to learn how to manage money. Many times I would not have enough money to cover my one bill and my parents would give me a rain-check but would remind me not to let it happen again.

Working made the biggest impression on me when I noticed some of my friends who drove brand new cars and weren't expected to pay for any of it or to help pay for any of their bills. It really bothered me. It made me have respect for my parents for wanting me to go out and make money for myself so I could become more responsible. I never mentioned that to my parents until now because truly, I would have loved to be one of those kids but I knew these decisions would help me in the long run.

That alone made the biggest impression on me as a teenager. I experienced other occurrences that molded my view of my parents, but this was the one that spoke volumes. This changed my view of my parents, or adults in general, because going to work every day and having to support a family is a lot harder than I thought. I didn't even have the children or husband to support, just my little truck. That alone was enough to teach me major life lessons.

Today, I still work and pay for my car insurance as well as help my parents with some of my tuition. My parents deciding I needed to work has molded me into a better person today. On the other hand, I have also lost respect for some people. Even some of my friends, or so called friends, I cannot stand to be around because they are so spoiled. Their parents pay for the brand new car, all of their shopping expenses, and never ask them to help; a huge mistake in my opinion.

It’s amazing how one change in a teenager's life can literally change an outlook on life forever. Knowing what I know now and what I've learned from being responsible will help me teach my kids in the future to do the same. I don’t want them to be irresponsible, spoiled little children. I will expect them to do the same as I did when I turned sixteen, and if they have anything wrong with that then I will keep their keys. It all comes down to wonderful parenting skills, and my parent’s skills have helped me greatly and changed my viewpoint on adults, for the better.

Graduation 2012

Santa Claus Was Really Mommy and Daddy

Christmas of 1998 was a very special celebration. My parents had just finalized their divorce so my Mom and me were living at my Grandpa’s house. Every year around Christmas time I would get so excited because I knew I would get the best toys. Even though 1998 had been a tough year on myself as well as my Mom, we still kept the Christmas spirit. One of the hit things that little 4 year old girls loved was Barbie’s. And I mean Barbie’s everything. Barbie Dolls, Barbie clothes, Barbie shoes, Barbie House, Barbie car; literally everything I had was Barbie material.

The one thing I was missing was the life-size Barbie Jeep at Toys ‘R Us. It was bright candy pink with “chrome” rims and even had hot pink tires! It was any little girls dream to own a hot pink Barbie Jeep and me being the car fanatic I’ve always been, I could not live without it. Every time we went past the store I begged my Mom to just let me go sit in it one more time but she knew if she made that mistake she’d leave the store with a screaming and crying baby. She sure was smart.

So it was the night, Christmas Eve, and I was lucky enough that I was allowed to sleep on the couch in the living room so as soon as I woke up I could open all of my presents. I was all tucked in and ready for Christmas as I dosed off most likely watching Veggie Tales before bed. But quickly I awoke. There was a lot of noise going on outside and the front door was wide open. No one was in sight, so like a curious child, I looked outside the front door to see what all the noise was coming from. There was my Mom and what is now my Step Dad unloading a brand new, hot pink, absolutely beautiful Barbie Jeep out of his truck. They were carrying it to the front porch, then they set it down and covered it up with a tarp. I could not believe it, was this real life? My dreams had come true, but what if I walk outside right now? What would happen to me, would they take the jeep away, would I get in serious trouble for being too curious? I quickly contemplated on what I should do next and I thought, even though I wanted to run outside, I figured I should go lay back down and act like I was asleep. A few minutes later my Mom came back inside and snuck back to her room. I got back up and looked through the window at the Jeep covered up. I was dying of excitement.

Before I knew it, it was Christmas morning! As I awoke in a drowsy state of hunger, I remembered what beautiful present there was sitting on the front porch! I quickly asked my Mom if I could open my presents. She of course was so excited for me to open them so she handed them all to me and I started unwrapping presents like a crazy person. After completely trashing the living room. she told me I had one more present waiting for me from Santa on the front porch. She opened the door and slowly walked me outside while she covered my eyes. Let me tell you I was dying inside, literally dying. She uncovered my eyes and there she was. The most beautiful thing I had ever witnessed. I do recall screaming, quite loudly from excitement of course. She reminded me that being a good girl throughout the year definitely paid off and that had Santa rewarded me well this year! But of course, me always ruining things, I told her that I watched her bring it onto the porch the night before. The tale of Santa Claus was over for me, Mommy and Daddy were Santa Claus!

She was so, so upset. I had literally crushed her hopes and dreams. But I didn't care, I had my Barbie Jeep! In the end, we all laugh about it. The worst part was when I went back to school and told all the kids how Santa Claus was really my parents; that didn't go over well. I had it all wrong. That's something to look back on and have a good laugh. That's my best childhood memory.